He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize