My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Randomize
