One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
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