I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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