She even gives head with a lisp.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
