He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize