Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize
