I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize