i already hear my dad disowning me
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
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