he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
