Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
