just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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