Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
be right there i have to get my cape
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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