that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
