Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
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