god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize