I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Randomize
