im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Randomize
