Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
