They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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