The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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