just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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