Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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