had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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