also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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