At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Randomize
