I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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