I love black thongs
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
