Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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