If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
