guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
