That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Randomize
