It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
