Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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