So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
