thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
