oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
