There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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