just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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