suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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