they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
