She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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