My brain says no but my pants say off.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
