All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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