awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Randomize
