Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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