why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
