i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
