she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Randomize
