Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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