Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
