take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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