We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Just high enough for therapy.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
