I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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