Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
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