I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize