I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize