I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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