I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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