why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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