so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
We are all done wearing pants today
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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